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Help Me Help You

Bored bakers are dangerous. I’d be even more dangerous if i had the inventory i had in California (40+ boxes and about 10 bottles). Right now i have 3 boxes of mix and am scraping to get more from the ravaged shelves of the stores nearby (make that 2, i made cookies today). My rum, whiskey and Irish creme have all mysteriously evaporated. I’m gonna end up experimenting with scratch recipes and building a copper still if this doesn’t break soon…

The old saying “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop” is proving itself true in these trying times. I’m bored. I homeschool my son, but it’s not recommended to push more than a couple hours each day. Plus his ADHD doesn’t let us get through 30 minutes of anything before i need a drink. I mean a woo sah moment… So i scroll FB, Instagram and LinkedIn until my eyes give up. I can’t do much outside because my allergies are being rather defiant in this new pollen atmosphere I’m in (case in point: Friday was a low count day – around 340 – yet being out driving for a couple hours burned my eyes and put me on my azz once i got home). So im in the house. So i bake.

I started making biscuits, moved onto coffee cakes, tossed together some snack cakes, made some decent cookies, and flipped some cake pancakes. None of which are menu items nor were for orders. Just for S&G… Fortunately, there are a lot of people in this house, so im not pressed to eat all of this by myself. I mean, i love being curvy, but i don’t need all that extra. (Non sequitur: i have really got to start working out. I have no excuses to not be doing indoor calisthenics.)

So why not give me something to do with my time? Cake is essential for mental health, and we all know that’s slipping right now. I’m here for you. I need you as happy and stable as possible while we press through this! And if that means having cake for second breakfast and pre-dinner everyday, who am I to stand in the way?

Have you checked out my Cake of the Month Club? I know the Grand Cheeto said we’re going to be set free shortly, but I’m not confident in much he says. So since we’ve got a little more time indoors, you’re going to need regular refills of serotonin boosting treats. Once you sign up for CMC, you will have a new cake at your doorstep every month till Halloween for one low price! All summer you won’t have to worry about where your next cake is coming from (bcz i know you were worried about that). See? One less thing on your plate! Plus if you know someone who’s having to spend their birthday on lockdown, i can deliver one of your cakes to them! Look at you being all birthday hero and shit…

So let’s knock out some of this boredom and hustle cake. What can i start for you?

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