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It’s Not an Option

I’m tired.


I’m burnt out. No, literally. Baconated.


I love living in SoCal because we have the best weather in the world. 72º and sunny is the norm here year round. Well, it used to be. Given, it’s still pretty even temped here, but the last few weeks we’ve had some doozies of heatwaves. Like 100º+ for days at a time. While we aren’t in monsoon areas here, we get the residual heat and humidity they cast off. And it’s miserable.

Earlier this week i needed to prep for Wednesday’s market. I had 9 cakes to bake, cut, dress and package over the course of 4 days. In a normal home, no problem. In mine, ehhh… My kitchen space is approximately 3ft wide and 6ft long, situated in the dead center of my apartment with no windows or cross breeze. When it’s hot outside, it’s toasty inside the apartment, which means it’s blazing in the kitchen. With the oven on, let’s just say Satan would be nice and comfy. Yet, i must endure. I baked Saturday, worked a wedding Sunday outdoors in 110º heat, baked Monday and Tuesday after work, then worked the market in 95º and 90% humidity Wednesday. Suffice it to say, by Wed night i was completely drained. I mean jerky drained. Like no desire to move, standing and walking take too much energy kind of drained. And it’s been a lingering issue through to today. Here’s the problem: I have more baking to do.

As you know, I have the Westside Food and Wine Festival next weekend. Expected attendance is about 3,000 over the course of the 2 days. This is a non-sales event, strictly an offering of miniature portion dishes from over 40 vendors. I’ll be serving Sipps, Nibbles, Shooters and wedges of Twins in two flavors each. Overall, I’m looking at about 200 pieces. That’s a good chunk of baking over the next week. Based on how i feel right now, i don’t wanna do it. i don’t wanna be in my kitchen standing, mixing, washing anything. I don’t wanna feel suffocated by the oven. I don’t wanna be in that tight little space in that heat . i wanna sit on my azz in my bed, edit pictures, post a bunch of stuff, email some event coordinators, create and send out a CakeFam email and chill with some drinks. I mean, do some research on flavor ratios and combinations…

But like i tell Mylan on a regular basis, “Want has nothing to do with it.” What i want to do doesn’t matter. Or i should say it is a lower priority Want than the Want to succeed. The Want to build, the Want to grow, the Want to blow their frickin minds all take precedence over the Want to sit on my azz. There are corporate accounts out there looking for me. There are socialite parties needing what i make. Wanting to veg out is not an option!

Quitting is also not on my agenda. I don’t quit anything, thus why i’m still addicted to chocolate cake, coffee and chicken wings. I’m not a quitter! I cannot throw in the towel just because i’m tired. Tired is temporary, success has legs. My legs are tired, but they’ll get over it. (SN: I have nodded off 4x at my desk writing this, so know i’m not making this up.) And procrastinating is right up there with quitting. It gets you no where fast. If i wait to get all of this done, i’ll be pulling all-nighters, being late for work, falling asleep on the phone, jeopardizing my livelihood… Not worth it! So now i have to plan. You know me and planning; I’ve got lists to make! Planning eliminates Want. The things you think you don’t want to do become things you Need to do. Planning also prevents procrastination, because now you can see what needs to be done and your timeframe at the same time. Get ‘er done!


“And let us not be weary in welldoing, for in due season, we shall reap, if we fainteth not.” Galatians 6:9 is written on a sticky note at my desk at work. It stays at my right hand, on the top edge of my family pictures, so i don’t forget why i’m doing what i do. I don’t have the option to quit, to give in, to slump. Harvest is coming and I need to be prepared! There are 3 young faces looking at me to learn hustle and success. There’s a very proud gentleman watching me bloom and grow, needing me to succeed strictly for my own happiness. I have to stay up for them. I can’t fall back. I’m depending on me and I can’t let us down…

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